Grace of Appa
A spiritual path is full of quick-turns and surprises. This experience was one such turn in my path...
Various sources such as Sri Subramuniyaswami, the founder of the Himalayan Academy, have given detailed explanations of how humanity came to this planet some millions of years ago. His explanation can be studied from a book called Lemurian Scrolls (free e-book). I had read some parts of it and heard of other such stories along the way. They are fascinating stories. Some of them are told in a grounded and clear-minded manner, some of them sound more like fantasies and fairy tales. True or not, such stories are so far off in the past that they hardly had any relevance in my life before.
One of Sivakami Amma's closest disciples is an Indian lady to whom I'll refer simply as ”Devi”. Devi is very dear and close friend to me, more than a friend, a spiritual sibling, though we have never met in physical.
Some time ago, she initiated me into a particular mantra. This is a well known mantra or chant in Tamil Nadu. This mantra was given by Lord Muruga, the other Son of Shiva, the Lord of Yogis, to a Siddha whose name was Arunagirinathar, hundreds of years ago. Siddha Arunagirinathar had in turn initiated one of Devi's teachers from whom she learned it. She gave me the mantra and passed a divine initiative charge with it. I chanted it a few times but waited for an audio file from Devi so that I could hear and learn the pronunciation correctly. She send it 2-3 weeks later. This is the mantra:
Uruvay Aruvay (as form and formless)
Ulladay Alladay (as present and absent)
Maruvay Malaray (as hidden and in blossom)
Maniyay Oliyay (as sound and light)
Karuvay Uyiray (as seed and life)
Gathiyay Vidhiyay (as direction and destiny)
Guruvay Varuvay (as guru you come)
Arulvay Guhane (shower the grace, the one who resides in the cave of heart)
You can hear me chanting it here.
For Western readers some background info is needed now.
Who or what is Lord Muruga?
Muruga has many names. He is also called Shanmukhan, Karttikeya and Sanat Kumara. Muruga is said to be the Lord of Yogis and especially important in the Siddha-lineage. It is said that Sanatkumara is the only one who can bestow a devotee with a perfect immortal body. I guess this is one of the main reasons why Muruga is so celebrated in our tradition as immortality and physical immortality specifically, are its central teachings.
Thirumularji, Babaji and Swami Ramalinga, they all attained this state, so that they could bring the Love of the Eternal to all living beings. So... Sanatkumara is a specific frequency of perfected (Siddha) consciousness. Sometimes Muruga is called Murugappa, that is Muruga Appa, Father Muruga, Father of Yogis. In India he is portrayed as a youthful and radiant yogi-ascetic much in the same way as his father Shiva is.
I had seen many of Sanatkumara's pictures but they meant nothing to me. Sometimes I had even been a bit puzzled because Muruga is so highly revered in the tradition of Siva Yoga into which I belong but yet I had not connection with him at all...
So... Devi sent me the audio clip of the mantra. In it, a friend of hers, a Tamil native, sang it. I listened to it and decided to meditate with it. I felt that it might take a while so I shut all windows and doors, and the mobile phone. Perfect :)
At first, I meditated Satgurudeva's, Thirumularji's presence in my own body. This is the most important method of meditation to me, has always been. After some time, I connected with Babaji as well. How I enjoyed Their company at Mount Kailash... and melted into a formless state. This took maybe 30 minutes or so...
Then I felt, it was good time to chant the mantra of Sanatkumara. I opened my eyes and chanted in aloud for a few rounds, reading it from a paper. Then I shut my eyes and meditated in stillness. I called upon Muruga, ”Muruga, come to me, come to me...” I felt some sensation. At first I witnessed this frequency for some time. Yes, it felt nice and Mularji's and Babaji's presence were clear also. I meditated more with Muruga.
Then I started remembering things what I had read about Sanatkumara and His Divine Mission for the benefit of all living beings. From the depths of my heart, a call came through: ”Muruga, come and live at my heart, come and live in my heart, take a seat in my heart...”
In the wildest stories it is told, that there is a city called Shambala which exists in the etheric space above the Gobi desert(!) and that Murugappa lives there. Well... this is one of the wildest versions :D Anyway, this came to my mind. I felt and meditated Muruga's presence. It became clearer and clearer and I felt that I came into contact with this Shambala. I was not interested in seeing this palace which exists in the astral realm. I was more interested in feeling whether these frequencies of vibrations are pure or not. This means whether they are spiritually true or not. It became obvious to me, through experiencing it on my own body, that Shambala indeed does exist and Muruga is very much the driving force behind it.
With my spiritual eye, I saw soft shimmering golden light all along. I didn't even want to see any visions or pictures but instead, understand that which is formless.
Muruga's presence swallowed me, I became totally merged in it. Then, something significant moved inside me. At instant, I remembered. I remembered that indeed there is truth in the ancient legend which tells that Sanatkumara and a large group of evolved beings and spiritual masters, came to Earth a few millions of years ago. I remembered it is true. This memory ignited so strong an emotional and energetic burst in me that in just a few seconds I burst into full tears...
In my mind, I asked Murugappa, ”How did I ever forget? How did I ever forget Appa!?” while tears rolled down my face in streams and my body gasped for air. I was in full tears...
How did I ever forget!? How did I ever forget!? I was fully merged in Appa's presence. His presence had taken seat at my heart.
The word ”Appa” never meant anything to me before this, nor did Muruga or Sanatkumara, Shambala or any of this though I had memories from previous lives with Baba and Mular... And yet, in split second my viewpoint had shifted completely. I remembered... Meaning of my life had become diamond clear... And it was all through the Grace of Appa, my Father, My Beloved Father...
As this first impact absorbed in me, I talked with Appa but after a few questions I just wanted to hold Him... We held each other like a father and son, perfectly... How can a formless being hold another formless being..? After this I asked Him more questions for clarification.
By this, I had come to understand that Appa is the core of me and He is the core of the whole lineage of Siva Yoga. Sanatkumara is the power of enlightenment behind the whole spiritual mission of this planet, Universe and of all Universes! This Appa is not just any Father but The Father!
He said Himself that Muruga Shakti is the power of enlightenment, the shakti of moksha, the power which brings on the liberation of all karmic bonds. When He told me this, I laughed out loud for a full minute, my home reverberated with laughter. It sounded both so silly, relieving and true all at once.
Liberation or enlightenment means rooting oneself into a state of clear consciousness where there is absolutely no identification with any movement of either the conscious or subconscious minds. This is also the foundation of the immortal light body which is taught in Siva Yoga of Thirumular. The perfection of this state is beyond mukti or liberation. Hence, it is taught that for Siddhas there is no mukti. This means that mukti is not the final goal on the path of the Siddhas.
I learned several things which are meaningful to me in my life as a yoga teacher. Now it seems so silly that I had forgotten Appa... How could I? How could I forget my Appa!? It all makes sense to me now... How wonderful... how well thought... What a perfection!
Worshipping, invoking and being devoted to this form of shakti, or spiritual energy-consciousness, is recommended to all. This can be done by chanting the above mantra or simply by calling it forth to oneself, such as:
Come Muruga's Light,
Come Muruga's Love,
Fill me up the brim, O' Sanatkumara,
Make me One with You
But mere words won't do it. Love, surrender and desire for Truth is needed. Then become merged in the Pure Love of Appa which blows its shakti of moksha into your bone and marrow!
I am dancing at the feet of my Lord!
What a marvel! What a marvel!
Appa! Appa! Appa!
- Babananda, 1.11.2011.